Read the Mental Health Messages from Your Students & Resources for Parents

Recently, 126 10th grade Newport students responded to a survey asking about supports and takeaways from our Ms. Megan Feder's Health class Mental Health unit.

Ms. Feder analyzed these responses and found a few common themes in the students’ perception of mental health.

Below are summaries of the themes, quotes from students, and
resources to learn more about mental health. Today is part one of a three-part summary of Ms. Feder's work with our students this semester. Included are the student comments and the resources Ms. Feder gathered for you.

Want to give some feedback or have further questions? Please use the following link: Parent Survey.

Thank you for your support and partnership. 

 

Part 1: Understanding and Awareness of Mental Health

• Warning signs of mental illness
• Mental Health Issues are common
• Adolescence is a common age for mental illnesses

Common themes:

Students say…

• “That children have mental health issues and they need help they are not just ‘sick’ but need help.”
• “I wish they knew how to recognize symptoms of mental health conditions and how to help someone with those conditions.”
• “I wish they knew about all the great resources to aid with mental health, and to support their kid and not view mental health issues as them being ‘emotional’ or something like that.”

Put it into Practice: 

• Know the Warning Signs of Mental Illness. Length of time and impact on the person’s life are two major factors to look at. It can be challenging to distinguish between “normal” teen behaviors and signs of a deeper issue. Are behaviors lasting for more than 2 weeks? Are behaviors impacting their relationships with their friends, family, teammates, their ability to attend school and extracurricular activities.
  • See Common Warning Signs of Mental Illness
• Make Thinking Visible. Talk out loud about your own mental process when working through a difficult situation at work, with friends/family, etc. Talk through how you asked for support to get through the stressor or what you did to help calm your nervous system down (took a shower, went for a walk, vented to a friend/partner). Be mindful of modeling unhealthy coping skills: “I’m so stressed, I need a drink.”
  • See How to Model Healthy Coping Skills.
• Be Aware of When to Seek Help. You are a trusted adult and when your child opens up to you about their mental health, you may not have all the tools to be able to best support them.
  • There are many great resources at Newport and in Bellevue. Please see:
    • Newport's Virtual Wellness Room, 
    • Asian Counseling Services Referral-Seattle,
    • Youth Eastside Services: Mental Health Support in Bellevue.
  • How do you know when your child is needing support? Please see:
    • Signs of Suicide Parent Presentation,
    • Warning Signs of Suicide, and
    • Common Warning Signs of Mental Illness.

Podcasts:

• Teen Mental Health Crisis

Websites:

• How to Model Healthy Coping Skills
• Spoon Theory: Understanding life with a disability
• Common Warning Signs of Mental Illness
• Coping Mechanisms: Pros and Cons
• Youth Eastside Services: Mental Health Support in Bellevue
• CDC's Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Data Summary and Trends Report

Books:

• The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults
• The Psychology of Mattering

 

Part 2: Communication & Support

Common themes:

• Need for open communication
• Need for listening without judgement
• Creating a safe space to share feelings without fear of being dismissed
• Allowing time for students to express themselves

Students say…

• “Some parents, I believe, (not mine; they do a good job at this) need to take the time observe and evaluate their students’ emotions at home as it is more often than not, a place where people can truly express themselves in term of having an emotional outlet. My parents already seem to recognize all my mood changes and call me out on them so that I can take time to reflect and redirect/stabilize my mental health.”

• “Just allowing me to vent instead of jumping to solve issues is the main”

• “I wish parents could be more aware about how much impact they have on our mental We spend more than half the time at home so our relationships and interactions with them are really significant. Also I wish they would just listen more/ be more open to us just ranting bc most of the time I don’t feel safe to tell them all the stuff im going through but that could just be me.”

• “Not everyone is a little ‘depressed,’ or a little ‘anxious’ all the time. I wish that my parents knew that saying how grateful I should be if I start crying over anything. Makes me not want to talk to them about my emotions at all.

Put it into Practice: 

• Name. Navigate. Help students figure out how intense their emotion is. Help them name the emotion they are experiencing. Could look like: “it sounds like you’re really frustrated.” Guide them through 4 Options for Any Problem. Try not to jump into problem solving for them. Parents problem solving for their child helps alleviate parental stress but does the opposite for your child. See 4 Options for Any Problem.

• Validating When teen emotions are high they are needing their parent to understand and accept their feelings and thoughts. Take a moment before responding. Calm yourself before reacting. Try not to react with strong emotions. Try to figure out their emotion (notice, name, navigate) or ask them what they are feeling. Practice making statements that calm you and your child. See Seattle Children's Hospital: Validation Tool

• Smoke Detector Principal. Randolph Nesse, Professor at the University of Michigan, talks about this principal as when we feel our survival is being threatened our brain sets off an alarm system (stress response). Our brains do not know the difference between a real threat and perceived threat. When your child says they will “die” if they don’t get something/do something that is their stress response being activated. Understanding this principal can help the adults in their lives check-in with their own emotional response first and then calmly listen without judgement to their child. Turn conflict into shared understanding and practice using “I statements.” See Avoid Conflict with an "I Statement"

Articles:

• Seattle Children's Hospital: Validation Tool
• 4 Options for Any Problem Books:

Books:

• Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School
• Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic

 

Part 3: Pressure & Expectations

Common themes:

• Students are overwhelmed by academic pressures
• Pressure parents place on academic performance
• Prioritizing Mental Health

Students say…

• “Don't get mad or stress over your kids grades and extracurricular activities because they just want space.”
• “I wish parents knew about how grades shouldn’t define who somebody is.”
• “Please don’t stress me about tests; I already know.”
• “Look out for their children and watch the amount of pressure they put on them.”

Put it into Practice: 

• Questions and Statements that Cause Further Pressure. In the book Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic, Jennifer Wallace quotes Richard Weissbourd about concerning parent behaviors of when their entire relationship with their child is based on their achievements.

  • This might look like asking your child how everyone else scored on a test or this might look like praising cousins/family members who were accepted in prestigious Universities.
  • Instead, while these are in important in life and have a role to play, to build relationships is the most important.
  • Brene Brown reinforces that adults need to focus first on listening and being appreciative that your student is sharing. Sharing big emotions is hard to do. This could look like: “thank you so much for sharing this with me.” Or “I’m here for you.”

• Materialism and Mental Health

  • In the book Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic, Jennifer Wallace writes about the dangers of linking happiness to success and materialistic possessions. When success is tied to happiness, we never will never achieve happiness because our success goal posts always change.
  • Harvard Psychologist Shawn Achor writes about what does lead to happiness, and when we are happy we are more successful, in his book The Happiness Advantage.
  • See also Pride and Achievement.

• Time Management. Calculate the predicted amount of homework for each course they are signing up for.

  • Do they still have time for extracurriculars?
  • 8 hours of sleep? Eating three meals?
  • Spending time with family and friends?
  • Did they take an online course to try and jump ahead, but are missing foundational skills for the class?
  • See Time Management Lesson Plan.
  • Help students establish healthy routines. Bed time: turn off all electronics 1 hour before the time they want to go to sleep.
  • Sophomores should be getting 8-10 hours of sleep each night. This supports their ability to learn. See Importance of Sleep and Learning.

Articles:

• Pride and Achievement 

Books:

• The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work
• Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic
• The Anxious Generation 

Podcasts:

• The Mental Price of Affluence
• What to do about toxic achievement culture
• Disability Visibility Project: Asian American Women and Mental Health
• Disability Visibility Project: Black Mental Health
• Disability Visibility Project: Mental Health and People of Color Websites:
• Coping Mechanisms: Pros and Cons